Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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