note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
