perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize