you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He passed out mid-signature
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
