So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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