TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
