Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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