are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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