do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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