garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
