Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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