all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
