I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
