people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
