I skipped work to stalk him.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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