respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
