Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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