i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
