Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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