Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
