I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
