operation harelip BJ is a go
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
