i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Houston, we have a blender
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
