So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
