Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
