All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I need water and some morals
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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