is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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