Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
