Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
