yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
