You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
