i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
