Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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