spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
