brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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