I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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