If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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