Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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