do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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