The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My vagina is very pro this idea
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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