I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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