you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize