Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize