whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
