this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
