You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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