The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
