The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
