Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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