is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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