i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
