He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
