The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You're like the curious george of whores
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize