I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
