U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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