..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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