Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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