he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
