Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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