His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
