It's Friday. Sex?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sorry about my life...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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