I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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