so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
