ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
