Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
