maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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